“Confrontation Is A Good Thing, Really”

Confrontation is a critical tool to achieve long term business success, even here in Portland.

Ten years ago, I moved to Portland from New York City. There was culture shock for sure: lackluster Italian food, no professional hockey team and not much swimming on the Oregon Coast. But nothing could have prepared me for the depth and degree of the passive-aggressive nature of the Rose City.

People like to get along here. Collaboration is king. Coming together is the rule of thumb. Confrontation? Not so much. Things are often not stated in black and white … there is plenty of gray. East Coast transplants like myself can find the passivity maddening. Be that as it may, I’ve learned to to do my part and adjust.

Here’s the thing, complacency can and will kill your business.

Too often, I have witnessed business leaders stand idle and fail to confront the people or processes that are hurting their companies. This self-imposed gag order runs across the full breath of business operations and often involves the owners themselves. Too often they dance around the harsh truth.

As a business owner, you simply cannot afford to make this mistake. The buck stops with the you, and your authority includes a responsibility to make critical decisions in a timely fashion. This may require decisive action on your part, even what some people may perceive as harshness, but be forewarned that inaction is often worse. The problem is not going to go away on its own. In most cases, the problem festers and grows.

The act of confrontation is often presented as a daunting challenge …

Challenges are not appealing to people. They require hard work to navigate well. You must hike uphill to get to higher ground. Business owners look for an easier path fora myriad of reasons:

• You are uncomfortable with confrontation.
• You have a negative personal history with confrontation.
• You don’t know the next best steps.
• You have had poor experiences confronting others.
• You lack experience with confrontation.

All things considered, it’s understandable why business owners shirk their responsibility for confrontation.

… But confrontation is best viewed as an opportunity for growth.

We often learn more from adversity than from prosperity. We often find solutions when we are forced to confront undesirable relationships and circumstances. There is often a a better way, a path defined not by aggression or passivity but by healthy confrontation.

Here is what healthy confrontation looks like in practice:

1. Mentally prepare.
2. Choose a proper location to engage, focus on the issues not the person and manage your emotions.
3. Engage in a proper, professional fashion.
4. Be clear and straightforward in your discussion.
5. Be open to a solution that is satisfying to both sides.

Are you a business owner, entrepreneur or executive who often struggles in times of conflict?

I’d like to hear more about your personal journey. Do you have an ally to aid your business and you during a time of conflict? Do you need one?